You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
