I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
