I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
