Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize