I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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