I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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