How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
