4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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