were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
