God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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