I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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