your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
