her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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