i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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