Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
