I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I looked at my own cervix.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
