It's like God shit irony all over that family
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
