i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
50% drunk capacity currently
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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