and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
