Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.

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  (717): everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve. http://tfl.nu/thtu
  Replies (9) Good night (755) Bad night (3082)
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  (562): View more from California

  biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009

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  (562): biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009 http://tfl.nu/05kt
  Replies (15) Good night (982) Bad night (3742)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1598) Bad night (2927)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly

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  (228): She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly http://tfl.nu/58r9
  Replies (24) Good night (791) Bad night (7177)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.

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  (508): he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that. http://tfl.nu/38s6
  Replies (23) Good night (7281) Bad night (1002)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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  (615): is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....? http://tfl.nu/4au4
  Replies (13) Good night (3277) Bad night (1049)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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  (803): If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now http://tfl.nu/b5gc
  Replies (9) Good night (1871) Bad night (3459)
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  (914): View more from New York

  you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.

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  (914): you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap. http://tfl.nu/d86b
  Replies (10) Good night (1458) Bad night (3258)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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  (970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g
  Replies (20) Good night (3175) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.

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  (608): Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer. http://tfl.nu/9xrq
  Replies (2) Good night (1298) Bad night (609)
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  (524): View more from

  How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?

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  (524): How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him? http://tfl.nu/bb5f
  Replies (2) Good night (1850) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1456) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's a Tuesday.

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  (+49): I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier! (303): It's a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/jt9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1450) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.

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  (541): If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience. http://tfl.nu/ojxm
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.

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  (732): I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful. http://tfl.nu/x0ts
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (215)

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