Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur

(612): View more from Minnesota

Nice use of current day folklore

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(952): I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur (612): Nice use of current day folklore http://tfl.nu/cnmj

Replies (36) Good night (839) Bad night (2824)
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(613): View more from Ontario

New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

(1-613): View more from Ontario

We are no longer friends.

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(613): New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands. (1-613): We are no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/wlk1

Replies (28) Good night (966) Bad night (3638)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.

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(519): Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten. http://tfl.nu/vjjo

Replies (24) Good night (5080) Bad night (830)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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(267): i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough. http://tfl.nu/ija6

Replies (29) Good night (2020) Bad night (6835)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

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(732): hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again http://tfl.nu/ne0q

Replies (23) Good night (1598) Bad night (7675)
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(315): View more from New York

i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.

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(315): i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night. http://tfl.nu/xhhx

Replies (12) Good night (1525) Bad night (2816)
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(906): View more from Michigan

scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor

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(906): scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/aosr

Replies (9) Good night (1847) Bad night (1297)
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(815): View more from Illinois

at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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(815): at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar? http://tfl.nu/ozqc

Replies (6) Good night (1774) Bad night (864)
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(518): View more from New York

Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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(518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh

Replies (2) Good night (2118) Bad night (838)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

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(989): Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ? http://tfl.nu/oaz9

Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (731)
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(310): View more from California

I'm so sick

(323): View more from California

I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.

(310): View more from California

That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..

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(310): I'm so sick (323): I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night. (310): That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy.. http://tfl.nu/0aa2

Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (1717)
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(281): View more from Texas

She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

...

(281): View more from Texas

Exactly.

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(281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox

Replies (9) Good night (724) Bad night (1646)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?

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(918): He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS? http://tfl.nu/pnaa

Replies (6) Good night (1046) Bad night (486)
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(970): View more from Colorado

he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

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(970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5

Replies (2) Good night (292) Bad night (477)
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(360): View more from Washington

I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.

(360): View more from Washington

I hate that cat.

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(360): I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg. (360): I hate that cat. http://tfl.nu/6981

Replies (5) Good night (517) Bad night (324)

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