Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

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(419): View more from Ohio

its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn

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(585): View more from New York

i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(601): View more from Mississippi

How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.

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(719): View more from Colorado

If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

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(406): View more from Montana

Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.

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