Need sex. Gaining weight.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.