My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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