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• (443): View more from Maryland

  when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.

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