fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.