8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?