There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
