Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
