Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
