Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
