I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
