He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
