Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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