don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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