i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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