He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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