I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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