I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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