she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize