Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize