Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
