READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
