I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
