I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.