I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?