i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
