But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
4 words: hood of his car
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
