I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
