Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
