When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
