Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last time i carry you out of a forest
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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