The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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