part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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