so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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