I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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