Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
