that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I am morally bankrupt
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
