my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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