sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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