YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
