Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
