Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
