The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
