come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
