Jerry, you need to find god
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
