I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize