And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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